Love Happens - So Does Hate

The nice thing about being an independent film critic is that you aren't working for any entity. Therefore you aren't on a schedule, you don't have deadlines to meet, and generally you get to pick the movies you watch. You don't have to go see anything that you think is going to suck. I love it that I get to choose what films I will see and which ones to pass on.

Occasionally, however, I get suckered into seeing something I have no interest in. This almost happened this weekend. I had to fend my children off. They were pressuring me to take them to see "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs". Instead I showed them the trailers for "Fantastic Mr Fox" and "Where the Wild Things Are" and I told them I would take them to see both those movies on opening night. Both are movies I am very interested anyways. Win - Win.

This was not the case last weekend. I fought valiantly but lost out to a female friend of mine who wanted to take me (her treat) to go see the new Jenifer Aniston / Arron Eckheart vehicle Love Happens. It was her birthday and my present to her was my presence at her side during the film.

Normally this is the point in my review where I review the critics take on the film and give you my review on their critique. This week I am in aggreeance with almost all the critics. So I am going to cheat and just give you my rundown on the film.

It is set in Seattle. How do I know this you ask? Because 20 minutes of the movie was dedicated to images of The Space Needle and QWest field. Great movies make the setting a living, breathing character. Bad movies rely on photos of recognizable landmarks in order to stir up an emotional connection with its audience.

As I said earlier, the movie stars Aniston and Eckheart. Both of whom have acting talent. Not that it was on display in this sappy, uneven, mess of a movie. There is absolutely no chemistry between them throughout the entire film. I blame new comer director Brandon Camp for this. The story is a mess of confusion and depends on every romantic comedy clique there is. I blame the writer for this. Who is also Brandon Camp. There was actually a "slow clap" at the revelation moment in the movie. A f-ing slow clap. This movie was one long "slow clap".

The music was about as subtle as a 2X4 to the face. There were moments where I was supposed to feel conflicted about a decision that was being made. How do I know? Because the music would swell to a fevered, apex. At just the moment boy looses girl I was supposed to be longing for them to "make it work". How do I know? The music would crescendo with violins and oboes trying as hard as they could to make this crazy couple get together.

This was also the whitest movie I have seen in a while. The only actors of color were cab drivers, busboys, hangs outs at a hookah bar. That's right, there is a scene in a hookah bar. Apparently these squares occasionally like to let their hair down and get "funky".

I apologize for all the "quotes" in this review, but I haven't found a way to describe this movie without paraphrasing my sarcasm. How else is one supposed to discuss a movie with characters like: The Quirky Assistant, The Flannel Clad Butch Contractor with A Soft Spot, The Over-The-Top A-Hole Agent (with a soft spot), A Former Marine Step Father, and A Parrot?

Everything about this movie didn't work. There wasn't one genuine emotion on display. All in all though, it was a good thing I attended the movie with my friend. Someone needed to wake her up during the closing credits.